Dear Universe of all possibilities (aka God)
Grant me the Serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change
Courage to change
The things I can
And the wisdom
To know the difference
I had finally chased down the results of the overnight oxygen test, using a pulse oximeter with the CPAP to see how I did without oxygen. It happened May 6, and was returned to the Lincare office on May 7. I started with the pulmonologist...well, it was the usual runaround. Finally got to talk to the technician yesterday who told me my average O2 was 89.5. Since that meant I had been below 88, the cutoff, at least half the night, I knew I needed oxygen with CPAP at night.
This morning the pulmonologist nurse called, saying they'd finally received the results. I heard that I was an hour and half dreaming at 82! I said I would definitely continue to use the oxygen concentrator at night. The dreaming part is my own idea...sleeping anyway.
I also am going to carry the portable oxygen generator with me today. I keep having nice 94-6 readings here walking from one place to another. But I'm really sensitive to the humidity. It's not raining, just on the edge of it. I've turned on the AC to dry things out, but it's cooler outside than in at this point.
So I don't feel all that great.
OK, enough about that!
On my inner work today, I need to accept that I've reached a point where good intentions, following all kinds of breathing treatments, taking the Mucinex which helps clear mucous out of my lungs...all of this won't take me back to a more capable person. I've moved on.
I said to my sons on Mother's Day, I feel frail. This is really hard for Barbara to accept (see serenity) and to try to be wise about it.
Can't I just do one more thing? Exercise more?
Well I did get a referral for pulmonary rehab again from the doctor. But they have a waiting list until August, and I hope to be moving by then. So I didn't even apply.
Nope. Do what I can. Accept what I can't.
And by golly, find something else to talk about here!
