Day Seven - Living till Dying

 Again I'm in the go-around mess with my primary care provider (PCP).

The health insurance doesn't have her listed, because her administration has not sent the insurance her certification. Insurance doesn't recognize her, she doesn't exist. The health insurance has automatically listed a physician that I have never heard of as my PCP. 

So after 7 months since I did see her in a "new patient" visit, I was scheduled to see her for my annual wellness check next week. Nope, no insurance still. I had spent all afternoon a week ago talking with the Advent office where my PCP works, and someone called late in the day and said it would all be taken care of. So I could have my bloodwork tomorrow and then see the Dr. in a week.

Nope. She's still not recognized. So I tried to change to another Dr. in the same practice. Nope, even though she's on their web page as seeing people on May 8, she's not taking new patients. And that Dr. is one I've seen several times. She also was among those I spoke with last week and she reassured me she'd follow through and get things straightened out. Nope.

So today I let insurance know a nurse practitioner I have seen, who is taking new patients, would be my PCP. But when I called the office back to make my first appointment with her, they said they needed her to ok it (I have seen her before also) and she's out of the office this week.

So no appointment, no blood work, and maybe they'll let me know next week about the new PCP. At that point I'll have to have a new intake interview, even though I've seen her already. Intake visits are being scheduled for August at this time.

 I asked the scheduling person, Jasmine, to try to get me a bone-density test which has been postponed because I waited this 7 months to have a wellness visit...and she said they do that in their office and she'd get it scheduled and would have them contact me.

Do you think it will happen? The certification of my first doctor never has come through.

I quite honestly toyed with the idea of going ahead with the appointment with her, with the attempt to get her certification sent in by next week's appointment. Then I firmly said, NO, I can't deal with all this any more, and canceled the blood work and annual wellness exam.

I may very well be looking for another outfit completely. Can you blame me?

Chinese dragons are wingless. I didn't make very many like that.

Day Six, Living Till Dying

 I may not even make it to the end of the month with the way Blogger is treating me.

I've lost so many links, and tried to retrieve them and make a new blog list, but many still are missing from my sidebar on the When I Was 69 blog...where I used to enjoy reading friend's blogs first thing in the morning.

Believe me I don't intend to deal with major problems at 7 am (unless the sky is falling or some other crisis along those lines.) 

I want to see what the blogging folks in Western Europe have been doing since they got up 5 hours before me. Sometimes they post whatever they did the day before. And some in my own time zone have posted after I went to bed, so I used to be so glad to read what their late night thoughts might have been.

But zilch has happened.

I have decided to avoid the hassle...and just read and comment on whatever is available. I'm sorry to say that I'll just miss these friendly bloggers. 

It's not my FAULT!! And not theirs either. Someone said it's a glitch. I prefer to think the program is old and is not being updated by Google. (Yes I know the algorithm keeps track of everything I say, and it needs to know that there is a PROBLEM!)

And don't tell me it's destiny, because I don't believe there's destiny guiding me this way and that. I am a scientific pagan, and I think I'm pretty sure I make my own life based on my own choices.

That's how I had two love-children...and the other one was also welcome, though not exactly planned.

So if I'm not reading blogs and commenting, what am I doing?

I've been playing with photos on my old hard drive, sorting them into maybe more manageable folders. And I've deleted duplicates a lot. There probably will be many more hours working on the family photos. I've labeled the ones I've looked at, and the rest will be considered whenever I'm in the mood.

I still have to find out several things about medical administrative things...like how come some of these bills are so much bigger than I expected...or did they not cash that check that I sent them? You know the drill. Hours of punching numbers on menus while waiting for a representative who "really does value talking to me." Right.

I have postponed getting a new universal remote for the streaming TV. I keep saying I'm going to Walmart, or Best Buy or somewhere but so far I haven't. My evenings are spent with some streaming show or another, and I'm ok with not having all the functions on the remote to work any more. I just turn the damn TV off and that's that.

And I get to listen to audio books from the library on Libby. I can play them on all my devices. Whoopee. A few are enjoyable and I haven't read them before. I have two paper books that are non-fiction. They are my go-to for when I'm nebulizing or doing the thera-vest to shake up my lungs to get the mucus out. Some days there isn't much to cough out. Grateful when that happens.

Speaking of coughing, the pollen is still pretty high...as my windshield attests to each time I go out.

I thought about putting more glaze or even paint on this dragon...but I may have destroyed it. Sometimes I'm in that mood.

A dragon girl which didn't make it through glaze firing, so she not only flew off into the ether, she was demolished into bits of clay!

Day Five - Living till Dying - Dragon-Woman

 I thought I skipped yesterday, May 4th, in order to have the days of the month match my days counting forward for Living till Dying. (I ended up posting something anyway!)

Of course when June comes along, if I actually continue to have something to say here, it will be out of kilter (whatever that means.)

OK I looked it up for you. Kilter comes from older English Kelter, meaning good health, in order.

Some demonstrators on May 1 representing the Unitarian Universalist association.

So the last thing I was thinking about was how to get myself to do something new...rather than procrastinate, rather than continue doing whatever I already was doing.

It's a law of physics. Whatever is in motion tends to stay in motion. Whatever is NOT in motion, tends to stay NOT in motion. Equilibrium or stasis. Thus myself. Sitting typing, sipping something. Getting up every now and then to stretch my legs and move my body. But start something else?

Ach! Not easy to do.

So I'm thinking back to how my life began...being rudely pushed out of a warm damp womb where all my needs were met and I was constantly lulled by mom's heart beat and other sounds of her digestive tract, as well as her voice and those of my father and grandparents too probably. Laughter with the interesting bouncing against mom's ribs. And just as soon as the pushing squeezing stopped, I was cold and stretched and in brightness and noise, and wrapped in soft but dry blankets and clothes. And screamed my lungs out to get back to comfort again.

So I started life. And now I need to start the next thing I'm going to do. I will take baby steps.

Remember how much I wanted to find out things? Curiosity drove me to explore, to move....crawl, then walk. Balance on 2 legs! I just knew how. But wait, there had to be the necessary growth of muscles and brain support.

Baby Steps. I know how still. Just reach for the next thing, just do it (thank you Nike). So I was able to demonstrate this skill to my own satisfaction, putting the laundry away... no not doing the washing and drying. A friend kindly did it a week or so ago, and folded it. And now I've finally put it in closet and drawers. There are more clothes lying about the room. Am I curious enough to see what's under them? To see them hanging in the closet? To fold them and stack them in correct places in cupboards?

I have also accomplished washing the dishes after making bread. All the kitchen is ready for the next useful thing that needs to happen there!

Whoo hoo! I am woman! And I am dragon-woman! The dragon energy is needed these days to combat the elder sick status which tends to be-fog my being completely.

Fire breathing if you please! 

My last dragon at a women's circle ritual